Let's Talk About Boobs!

I have been pretty lax in the "documenting" of my boob job. I will try to pick it up. Next week you should expect to hear a lot of, "Owie! My chest hurts!" Or something along those lines at the very least. 

I've had two appointments with my surgeon so far. The first was the consult where he told me how amazing I was, and then let me try on boobs. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I got to put on a stretchy bra and was then loaded up with implants to see about where they'd fall. We found my happy place with a full C cup. I'm a tall girl, so everything else just kinda stuck with the whole "looking kinda sad" category. He made me try a size bigger after that. WOAH! I'm not gonna lie, there was a tiny little part of me that clapped her hands and squealed, "ooh! Boobs!! They're HUGE!" But, the rest of me said, "Really Phoebe? You look ridiculous." So I politely asked to see the smaller size again.


Two days ago I had my Pre-Op appointment. My surgeon had been urging me to bring someone with me, but I don't really have anyone in San Francisco. I know maybe three people, all of them men, none of them know me like that, and... AWKWARD.
"Excuse me, would you like to come help me pick out my new rack?" HA!


So, I was all ready to go to my Pre-Op alone when I got a phone call from a guy I dated for maybe two months earlier this year. He was in town and wanted to get dinner Tuesday night. I said sure, would you mind going to my pre-op with me first? So... there I was. Getting my boobs measured with my ex. HA! It was nice though. I need someone to giggle with to get through difficult situations, so it was fantastic to have someone with a similar sense of humor to mine with me. Also, it was nice to have another set of eyes checking out the size of rack I was considering. My surgery is on Monday. That's four days from today. 


The week before the surgery isn't fun at all, I might add! My surgeon has cut me off from my four favorite food groups: Booze, Sugar, Carbs, and Salt. WTF?!?! I am dying here. Not only am I basically on a liquid diet of smoothies (I know fruit has sugar, I don't give a shit... it's not pasta), but I'm like an old lady with my pills. I take a HANDFUL of vitamins every morning and evening. And that's on top of my regular meds. Then I started a super Vitamin K pill yesterday, and will be adding two more pills on Sunday, and then the antibiotics. I feel like I should get myself one of those desk-sized pill organizers and organize them by color. 


The whole situation has been fairly smooth sailing. There have only been a couple snags. One of the snags happened when I noticed that my credit card had been compromised online last weekend. What?! For sixty dollars. Really?? You're going to make me disrupt my whole life over sixty fricking dollars on iTunes??? GAH! So I had to juggle around how I was paying for things and will just have to do a couple balance transfers later. But, whatever. No biggie. 


The other thing I had trouble with was arranging someone to pick me up. I am lucky in the fact that I have an awesome friend who will come pick me up and stay with me until my awesome roommate of awesomeness gets home to make fun of me and my bra of frozen peas. I probably won't notice as I will most likely be sleeping.


The office situation has been interesting. Most of the women know I'm going to get surgery. I told one person what procedure I was having done, and one of my favorite coworkers guessed it. It was really funny. She had to work up to asking me what I was getting done. Finally she blurted out, "Are you getting boobs?" HA! She, and just about everyone that knows me, is excited.


So, there's my update. Later on tonight, I'll share some of the things I had to consent to in order to get my boobs.

The Consult

Well, today's the big day. Well, more the "medium" day when you think about it; I'm only going to talk to the surgeon, not get on the operating table. I'm somewhat excited about the little road map that's going to be drawn all over my chest. I'm also hoping it'll come off easily, otherwise going to the gym might be a leeeeeetle embarrassing. Ha!

What have I had to do so far? Well, let me tell you:

• I have figured out how to pay for my boobs. With an awesome financing company for medical procedures and my super low-interest car loan (that I refinanced for more money but a lower payment and interest rate) I can afford LOTS of boobs. Not that I'm getting lots of boobs, but it's nice knowing I have boob options depending on how tonight's consult goes and what my doc recommends I do.
• I have had to spend a shit-ton of money on all sorts of vitamins. My doc suggests a vitamin regimen to be started a month before the procedure (started) and another one a week before the procedure (bought). Vitamins are not cheap. I feel like a little old lady. I take a handful of pills in the morning, and I take a handful of pills at night. On the plus side, these are good for me and I should just be happy that I'm on a healthy body regimen.
• I had to go online and fill out my patient intake forms. This office is fabulous and I can fill it all out online before my appointment to save me time and give me more time to talk about my future breasts with my surgeon.
• I've had to take time off work to recover from my boob surgery. Hopefully my surgeon will be able to do my boobs that week, otherwise I'll have to reschedule my time off and it would be the perfect week. My boobs would be all healed up before I go to Hawaii with my bookend + crew and I wouldn't have to worry about sore boobs while being forced to learn to surf.
• I was just about to crow over my eating right and exercising more so I won't be all nasty bloated right before my procedure, but a drug rep just brought us lunch and OMG is it amazing. I will now have to roll myself to my doctor's office. Oh well...

So far things have been going smoothly. I found it strangely easy to find the financing for my procedure, I'm not anxious about it at all. I feel like I should be; I am going to be put under anesthesia and cut open. But, I have no qualms. I have always felt like that though, I might be a little too trusting of doctors.

The most difficult thing I've had to deal with so far sprang up today. My coworkers started asking about why I'm taking a week off. They were being very polite about it and inquiring on if I was going on vacation. One (who had been told I needed the recovery time) thought I'd actually found a doctor who would give me a hysterectomy. I had to laugh at that; I might talk about wanting a hysterectomy, but I might end up wanting to use my uterus at some point. And I haven't met a doctor out there who would even consider giving a woman my age that surgery! They would laugh at me (and have). That, and I don't feel like getting put on hormonal therapy before I'm even 30. Ick! I told one girl what I'm actually doing, she probably won't tell anyone else, but it's going to be pretty obvious when I get to work. I have been strangely close-lipped about the procedure so I think that's what my coworkers are finding odd. Normally I tell them all about the stuff I'm up to, but all they know is I'm "having a procedure." Then they get worried and I have to tell them that I'm okay. Oh well, it'll all make itself obvious soon enough.

Okay, back to work. Update after tonight's consult

I Want Boobs. I Like Them.

This week has been incredibly unusual for me. I finally made a decision I've contemplated for years. And... since there's no way I'm going to be able to hide the outcome, I've decided I'm going to share the step-by-step experience. But, I'm going to have to start from the beginning (well, kind of) so I can explain some of my train of thought and why I decided what I decided. Most of my closest friends never met me until I was much, much, MUCH thinner than I could ever remember being, so I think I need to give background before I'm judged too severely. Not that I care that much if you judge me.

I was born at 1:20pm in the afternoon on December 31...

Wait, that's a little too early there, let me skip up a little bit.

I was a fairly inactive child and teenager. Sure, I did all the usual stuff like riding my bike, swimming, etc, but I was also a huge fan of sweets and hiding with my nose in a book. (I still am... it's something I have a daily battle over). I really didn't understand the fact that soda and chocolate and chips would make me fat; especially when combined with the fact that I didn't exercise nearly enough to even maintain my weight. It's why I can understand how frustrated some people get when they try to learn how to lose weight. If it's not something you're familiar with, it can seem alien, and difficult. I'm going to spare you the description of my teenage love of Fritos, Snickers, and Pepsi and how often I ate them. Instead I'm just going to move on. Let's just leave it at I was 165 lbs in 6th grade. (That's a 12 year old by the way, in case you don't remember)

Another thing I had in 6th grade was boobs. I love boobs, I always have. They were only a "B", but they had a nice shape and I wore un-padded bras and adored them. My sister shot up to a D (I refer to her as jacuzzi hover tits. They're perfect. Bitch. [love you sis]), and I developed "boob envy". She also got to be 5'2" with straight dark hair. That had been my plan. Apparently I wanted to look like a Japanime. Not that I'd ever seen a Japanime at that point, that was just the most beautiful image my tall, blonde little mind and I could come up with.

By the time I was 16 I came to realize that I liked having small boobs; they were perky and they didn't sag. It was nice. Unfortunately, I kept gaining weight so my boobs didn't really stand out. They also turned into what I term "fat boobs". Those are boobs that are caused from gaining weight and lose some of their natural shape. They're not a result of genetics, just weight gain. By the time I moved to Oregon I was close to 185 and 18. I still had a "B", but it somewhat blended in with my cylindrical midsection to leave me looking like somewhat rectangular.

I hit my max of 209 (and a C cup YAY) when I was 19. I was in a really unhealthy situation all around. I was in a bad relationship, I worked swing shifts at a 7-Eleven and basically had to live off their food. Right before my 20th birthday I decided that something had got to change. I broke it off with the guy, I joined step-aerobics at my college and I stopped taking birth control pills (which I have really bad reactions with). I went down to 183 and couldn't believe it. I was so excited. The next term I added circuit weight training after step-aerobics and got down to 175. I was thrilled. (I'm 5'9" by the way... so you can get proportions. 175 looks way different on me than someone that's 5'4"). My boobs went down to a B, but still had an okay shape although they had some aspects of "fat boob". They now were a little saggier and didn't have the perkiness to them because there was a bit of extra skin. I fought my way all the way down to 148 at one point... and I was amazed. I saw a tiny little gap between my thighs when I looked in the mirror while changing one day.

At 22 I was dating a guy who thought I was too skinny. And he was a damned good cook. He fed me and fed me and fed me. By the time I'd graduated and was working full-time at my first office I had slowly climbed back up to 194 with my feedings and lack of exercise. I woke up one morning and decided I just couldn't do it anymore. I changed everything in my life: eating, dating, driving, exercising... and I transformed my entire body. I exercised all the time, I ate salad, I got 8 hours of sleep a night. I dropped down to 165 lbs and met everyone in California that I loved. That's the heaviest any of them have ever seen me, and for me... that's just kinda plump.
By the time I moved to California I was 155. I'm now around 140 because I put a little bit of weight back on over the last few months.

You might be wondering why I just gave you a novel on my different weights throughout my teenage-adult life. Let me tell you...

With all that weight flux my poor boobs lost all the fat they had ever had. And it never came back. I had been okay with my cute, small boobs that looked like boobs. I liked them, and just told myself I was "streamlined." But now they looked... flat, almost deflated. I looked like I had breast-fed children. (I still do actually). I hated it. I wear padded bras exclusively, I have padded swim-suits. When I look at myself naked I feel icky. I have excess skin where I used to have boobs. Now, I'm not at the point where I can flap all that skin around or anything, I'm not a 90 yr old woman that breast-fed 12 children, but I can see that looseness and it makes me feel gross. I tried taking hormonal birth controls, but those just made my life miserable and didn't affect my boobs at all. I lifted weights, I did pilates, I did everything that everyone suggested hoping that the skin would tighten up and at least have my boobs remain in a boob shape. Nothing worked.

I have joked about buying boobs for years. I'm more of a butt girl, but I love boobs. I've always wanted them. I come from a family of nice boobs. There was only one other sister that had small boobs, and she is naturally petite where I am not so her boobs look awesome on her. I always thought that buying boobs would be so expensive I would never be able to do it.

Last week I went onto my Evil Bookend's friend's website and he had a boob special going. 4k for boobs? REALLY? I couldn't believe it. If it's only 4k on sale, how expensive are boobs? I had always assumed 10-12k. I suppose I always guess high, but with how everyone had been talking they sounded insanely expensive. It was then that I realized that I really could buy boobs. So I started looking.

I spent the last week looking at boob doctors. On Monday, the doctor I was running and I both looked at boobs all day. I finally decided on a doctor based on his amazing boob pictures. They looked real. He kept the natural shape to the boob (all boobs are shaped different in case you have only seen one set of boobs before. Ha!) So I called, and started my journey towards boobs.