Let's Talk About Boobs!

I have been pretty lax in the "documenting" of my boob job. I will try to pick it up. Next week you should expect to hear a lot of, "Owie! My chest hurts!" Or something along those lines at the very least. 

I've had two appointments with my surgeon so far. The first was the consult where he told me how amazing I was, and then let me try on boobs. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I got to put on a stretchy bra and was then loaded up with implants to see about where they'd fall. We found my happy place with a full C cup. I'm a tall girl, so everything else just kinda stuck with the whole "looking kinda sad" category. He made me try a size bigger after that. WOAH! I'm not gonna lie, there was a tiny little part of me that clapped her hands and squealed, "ooh! Boobs!! They're HUGE!" But, the rest of me said, "Really Phoebe? You look ridiculous." So I politely asked to see the smaller size again.


Two days ago I had my Pre-Op appointment. My surgeon had been urging me to bring someone with me, but I don't really have anyone in San Francisco. I know maybe three people, all of them men, none of them know me like that, and... AWKWARD.
"Excuse me, would you like to come help me pick out my new rack?" HA!


So, I was all ready to go to my Pre-Op alone when I got a phone call from a guy I dated for maybe two months earlier this year. He was in town and wanted to get dinner Tuesday night. I said sure, would you mind going to my pre-op with me first? So... there I was. Getting my boobs measured with my ex. HA! It was nice though. I need someone to giggle with to get through difficult situations, so it was fantastic to have someone with a similar sense of humor to mine with me. Also, it was nice to have another set of eyes checking out the size of rack I was considering. My surgery is on Monday. That's four days from today. 


The week before the surgery isn't fun at all, I might add! My surgeon has cut me off from my four favorite food groups: Booze, Sugar, Carbs, and Salt. WTF?!?! I am dying here. Not only am I basically on a liquid diet of smoothies (I know fruit has sugar, I don't give a shit... it's not pasta), but I'm like an old lady with my pills. I take a HANDFUL of vitamins every morning and evening. And that's on top of my regular meds. Then I started a super Vitamin K pill yesterday, and will be adding two more pills on Sunday, and then the antibiotics. I feel like I should get myself one of those desk-sized pill organizers and organize them by color. 


The whole situation has been fairly smooth sailing. There have only been a couple snags. One of the snags happened when I noticed that my credit card had been compromised online last weekend. What?! For sixty dollars. Really?? You're going to make me disrupt my whole life over sixty fricking dollars on iTunes??? GAH! So I had to juggle around how I was paying for things and will just have to do a couple balance transfers later. But, whatever. No biggie. 


The other thing I had trouble with was arranging someone to pick me up. I am lucky in the fact that I have an awesome friend who will come pick me up and stay with me until my awesome roommate of awesomeness gets home to make fun of me and my bra of frozen peas. I probably won't notice as I will most likely be sleeping.


The office situation has been interesting. Most of the women know I'm going to get surgery. I told one person what procedure I was having done, and one of my favorite coworkers guessed it. It was really funny. She had to work up to asking me what I was getting done. Finally she blurted out, "Are you getting boobs?" HA! She, and just about everyone that knows me, is excited.


So, there's my update. Later on tonight, I'll share some of the things I had to consent to in order to get my boobs.

The Consult

Well, today's the big day. Well, more the "medium" day when you think about it; I'm only going to talk to the surgeon, not get on the operating table. I'm somewhat excited about the little road map that's going to be drawn all over my chest. I'm also hoping it'll come off easily, otherwise going to the gym might be a leeeeeetle embarrassing. Ha!

What have I had to do so far? Well, let me tell you:

• I have figured out how to pay for my boobs. With an awesome financing company for medical procedures and my super low-interest car loan (that I refinanced for more money but a lower payment and interest rate) I can afford LOTS of boobs. Not that I'm getting lots of boobs, but it's nice knowing I have boob options depending on how tonight's consult goes and what my doc recommends I do.
• I have had to spend a shit-ton of money on all sorts of vitamins. My doc suggests a vitamin regimen to be started a month before the procedure (started) and another one a week before the procedure (bought). Vitamins are not cheap. I feel like a little old lady. I take a handful of pills in the morning, and I take a handful of pills at night. On the plus side, these are good for me and I should just be happy that I'm on a healthy body regimen.
• I had to go online and fill out my patient intake forms. This office is fabulous and I can fill it all out online before my appointment to save me time and give me more time to talk about my future breasts with my surgeon.
• I've had to take time off work to recover from my boob surgery. Hopefully my surgeon will be able to do my boobs that week, otherwise I'll have to reschedule my time off and it would be the perfect week. My boobs would be all healed up before I go to Hawaii with my bookend + crew and I wouldn't have to worry about sore boobs while being forced to learn to surf.
• I was just about to crow over my eating right and exercising more so I won't be all nasty bloated right before my procedure, but a drug rep just brought us lunch and OMG is it amazing. I will now have to roll myself to my doctor's office. Oh well...

So far things have been going smoothly. I found it strangely easy to find the financing for my procedure, I'm not anxious about it at all. I feel like I should be; I am going to be put under anesthesia and cut open. But, I have no qualms. I have always felt like that though, I might be a little too trusting of doctors.

The most difficult thing I've had to deal with so far sprang up today. My coworkers started asking about why I'm taking a week off. They were being very polite about it and inquiring on if I was going on vacation. One (who had been told I needed the recovery time) thought I'd actually found a doctor who would give me a hysterectomy. I had to laugh at that; I might talk about wanting a hysterectomy, but I might end up wanting to use my uterus at some point. And I haven't met a doctor out there who would even consider giving a woman my age that surgery! They would laugh at me (and have). That, and I don't feel like getting put on hormonal therapy before I'm even 30. Ick! I told one girl what I'm actually doing, she probably won't tell anyone else, but it's going to be pretty obvious when I get to work. I have been strangely close-lipped about the procedure so I think that's what my coworkers are finding odd. Normally I tell them all about the stuff I'm up to, but all they know is I'm "having a procedure." Then they get worried and I have to tell them that I'm okay. Oh well, it'll all make itself obvious soon enough.

Okay, back to work. Update after tonight's consult